I hid the posts on this blog about four years ago. That's approximately an eon in internet years, making this blog a fossil. It's like one of those saddle pads I unearthed in my tack room a couple of weekends ago; old, crunchy, caked in horse hair and crusty with sweat from rides that occurred who knows how many years ago. However, a run through the extra "extreme-filth" cycle on the washing machine with some bleach and boiling hot water and it's practically brand new.
Or at least serviceable for schooling.
Maybe I should dye it a darker color. Perhaps a deep brown to hide the weird stains.
It's been a solid six years since I more or less gave up horses. I remember the emotional roller coaster that was my home buying experience, an ACL tear, marriage, separation, family drama, divorce, financial fallout, changing jobs, another ACL tear (the same damned knee), losing my first horse, anger, anxiety, depression, therapy, etc etc etc.
Determining the moment when riding and horses became less important to me is a pointless exercise. There was no breaking point, no line drawn in the sand for me to establish where "The End" happened. It's something that slowly became the new norm. I'm not certain why I stopped even matters. All that does matter is that the desire to get back into it has come crashing back with a vengeance.
It all started on the internet, where all great ideas originate (I'm joking, sorta. The internet is both a wondrous and terrible place).
Anyway, I'm super late to the blog party and only recently discovered She Moved to Texas. It's an amazing blog, wonderfully honest and well written. I laughed, I cried, and I realized that I really miss having horses in my life.
So, I did what I usually do. I obsessed and researched. I hemmed and hawed. I back tracked and changed my mind. I made some phone calls. I jumped on a opportunity to ride with a friend who owns an old pony that wouldn't kill me while I got my sea legs back. I even got back on Fin for a few rides, which were not exactly positive, and I'll recount those details later.
After all those phone calls and a few in-person visits, I found a new barn. It's a small place, but it feels good so far. The facility is nice, the trainer (C) is talented and honest, the horses are well-kept, it's primarily English with a focus on eventing, which is perfect. It feels like a good fit. I've only had a couple rides there, but in my lesson last Thursday I felt like I really accomplished things. It turns out that I can still dressage pretty well. And it didn't hurt that I had enough confidence (and strength!) to string together a tiny course of small jumps after not doing any jumping at all for eight (EIGHT!?!) years. Plus, C has enough confidence in my abilities as a rider (and my trustworthiness) to give me a project. I'm to get the old(er) lesson master back into shape. He's a saint and totally awesome schoolie, but he has all these dressage buttons that haven't been pushed in a long time. He and I are going to do some work and we'll get back into shape together.
I'll be joining in on my first session of trot sets tomorrow. I'm honestly just hoping not to die.
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